Saturn vs. Uranus!!

Have you noticed a certain lack of reasonable causal flow lately? Have you noticed a tendency for folks to say and do pretty much whatever, totally at random, with no real reason other than “because I felt like it”?

Have you noticed that it’s not just people, it’s the damn Universe as a whole?

On September 5, the Sun officially jumpstarts the Saturn/Uranus opposition along the Virgo/Pisces axis—there’s simply no way that this one’s going to sneak into orb without anyone noticing. Subtlety will not rule the day, nor will the normal conventions of cause and effect. Predictability has been chucked out the window—too bad for those walking by underneath—and the only sure bet is that anything can happen.

Uranus is one of the planets whose action isn’t really noticeable until he’s activated. Over the past few weeks, Mars, Mercury, and Venus have made their initial flyby oppositions to Uranus (Mars on August 6, Mercury & Venus together on August 23) and if you think Uranus was agitated then....

Saturn, as a metaphorical planetary energy, is just about as diametrically opposed to Uranus as it gets. Saturn’s style is all bureaucracy, budgets, and Thou Shalt Nots. Uranus has hair like Einstein, the mind of a hacker king, and zero interest in rules...well, not zero interest...he actually pays careful attention to rules, right before he conscientiously flushes them down the commode.

Considering the fact that Saturn is in “let’s-analyze-this” Virgo, and Uranus is in “boundaries-are-for-weenies” Pisces, this opposition will center around issues of method. The random, intuitive leaps of Uranus in Pisces will be challenged by the consolidating efforts of Saturn in Virgo. Uranus wants no truck with “how we’ve done it before,” and Saturn wants no part of any untested, impractical ideas. The push-me-pull-you effect of these two giants will affect all of us, from the lowliest blogger to the loftiest player of world politics.

Uranus will be agitated, all right. Expect drama.

It’s tough to be more specific than that—we are dealing with Uranus, after all—but in general this opposition will affect the mutable signs most noticeably. All Virgos and Pisceans are on the hook, as are Gemini and Sagittarius. Taurus and Scorpio stand to benefit as the dust settles; the inevitable endings and beginnings associated with this opposition will leave openings that may perfectly suit these fixed signs. Cancer and Capricorn can also benefit, though they’ll be dealing with Pluto as well, and will have their own set of challenges to face.

Let’s get back to the mutable signs. Virgo and Pisces are in for the transformative experience of a lifetime. Habits and assumptions will be under constant challenge, and at times, these two signs may be tempted to withdraw.

Virgos (or Virgo planets) will have this feeling that any move they make will result in a quick fall from a steep cliff. None of the familiar conditioned responses are working, and every situation will seem to require a seat-of-the-pants response that is unplanned (based on past experience) and illogical (based on common sense.)

Some may retaliate with excessive organization. Obsessive tendencies will be exacerbated, and I’d advise Virgo to take up an active relaxation practice now. Uranian energy is both mentally and physically agitating, so a physical activity that also requires the interactive use of your brain, such as tennis or racquetball, would be ideal. This goes for Virgo Ascendant and Virgo Mars folks, too.

Pisces will also be compulsive, but in a different way; they’ll be tougher than usual to pin down. Escapism could become an issue. Unexpected choices will pop up like Whack-A-Moles, and the Piscean reaction will be unpredictable.

Part of the time, you’ll find them crumpled on the floor, cradling the mallet-on-a-string like a dead puppy, rocking back and forth and gently weeping. At other times, they’ll take one look at those damned idiot moles and promptly set fire to the whole machine, giggling the giggle of the seriously unstable.

And at yet other times, they’ll try the oldest Piscean trick in the book—they’ll engulf the challenger Saturn like an amoeba, mimicking him so well that even Old Father Time himself has to step back and frown, “I say, isn’t that going rather too far?” Since there are few things more implacable than a Piscean pretending to be Saturn, watch your ass. The floor-whimpering and insane laughter are probably less dangerous.

Gemini and Sagittarius will also get in on the fun, but won't be subject to quite as much interior morphology. This opposition will lie square to these two signs; most of the Saturn/Uranus tension will happen around them, instead of inside them.

This will not be a quiet year for Gemini and Sagittarius, and they won’t have the same temporary-insanity benefits as their cousins Virgo and Pisces, either. Gemini in particular will have issues with mental overload and insomnia—read Virgo's advice above, because it holds for you, too. Sagittarius will face unexpected obstacles, and may have trouble with impulse control.

Late-born Geminis and Sagittarians (and late-degree Ascendants) are most susceptible, as are any planets in the late degrees of these two signs.

There’ll be plenty more to come, as this volatile aspect gets off the ground this fall. It won’t be exact until next year, but if forming aspects are like movies...the previews are over, folks, and the first scene will start in media res early this month. Sometimes you have to wonder: who’s up there selling the tickets?

And just when do we get our royalty checks?

A Virgo's Broom

Speaking of Saturn in Virgo, today I cleaned my studio.

This is nothing unusual-- I always go on a ruthless cleaning spree before beginning any big project. As I was sweeping up the fine layer of metal dust, I realized that I was using a Virgo's broom to do it.

My grandfather was a Virgo, his mechanic's shop is now my studio, and his broom was, at that very moment, giving me blisters. It's a tiny broom, no more than twelve inches wide and an inch thick. It's built to last, with a solid metal handle and the most indestructible bristles ever stuck on the end of a sweeping device. It's over fifty years old, and I still use it.

But why?

The shop is of a decent size, a two-car mechanic's garage, with a concrete drive in front. It takes an hour to sweep it with this miniature-headed broom. The dustpan that accompanies it is no better-- it looks like a maitre d's lobby dustpan, except made from functional steel-- and I've never been one for placing sentiment over practicality.

Thoughts like these rambled around my head as I swept, one small stroke after another. Large, bold sweeping action is completely out of the question. Papaw's broom is a very specific broom-- you take aim and make one definite, precise stroke at a time. After a series of these you're left with a small pile of detritus that can be ushered into the dustpan. You empty the dustpan into the old metal trashcan. You sweep, pile, and empty again until all that's left is bare floor.

As a Pisces, I wonder every time why I don't just buy a big whisk broom. I'm not a Virgo; precision cleaning isn't one of my priorities. My main goal is to not start any more fires than are absolutely necessary for sanity and entertainment's sake-- I feel like I can live with a few piles of smoking junk in exchange for some Piscean ease of mind.

But every time I wander down the broom aisle at Home Depot, something prevents me from buying a replacement. I remember the blisters, the hours spent with the fussy little broom, the dustpan I have to bend over to use. I also remember the floor, emerging from its cavelier layer of Piscean inattention, bit by meticulous bit.

I don't buy the new broom.

The Saturn in Virgo/Uranus in Pisces opposition will be within orb by September. I can't help wondering if I'll change, if I'll still be content with my hour's sacrifice to the Virgo who left his broom in my care.

I guess we'll have to see. Meantime, I have some blisters to attend to.



(image by Daniel J. Victor. Visit his work here.)

Talking 'Bout A Revolution: Mars, Saturn, & Uranus

It's been a bit of a tense week.

Nagging, arguing, criticizing, nitpicking, second-guessing, stubbornly refusing to budge...all perfectly understandable forms of entertainment during a Mars/Saturn conjunction in Virgo, and most of us have been on either the giving or the receiving end of at least one of them.

Big fun, huh? Is it over yet?

The good news is: yes, this round of tension is almost over. Mars reached its exact conjunction with Saturn on the 11th/12th, and by Sunday afternoon, Mars will have moved on to bigger and better things.

Not that you won't still have some broken dishes to sweep up-- transiting aspects are largely finished once they reach their exact degree and move on, but there's still a resolution phase involved as the planets separate.

There's always a hangover, and this one is just the opening act of the upcoming major drama between Saturn and Uranus.

When a faster-moving planet like Mars passes a heavy-hitter like Saturn, the smaller planet tends to pick up important life themes and move them forward. This time, it was the willful, Aries-like, head-butting energy of Mars that agitated Saturn's stern sense of restriction and propriety.

Mars will carry some of that conflict forward, and begin an opposition to iconoclastic Uranus in early August. Whatever themes came forward for you during the Mars/Saturn conjunction, you'll still be dealing with them over the next few weeks.

With shocking, unpredictable Uranus involved, we may find ourselves raging against the machine.

It won't be wild, undirected rage at any old machine, though. The active role in this little drama is played from the Virgo perspective, and that means specific and meticulous. This is not a time for uncontrolled fits of reactionary rebellion; it's a time for well-planned, thoroughly rehearsed escape plans. Mars' job is to illuminate the territory. When you have a clear picture of the situation in question, you can begin plotting.

Of course, Mars has already agitated a few skirmishes, but those are just the preliminaries. Spend the rest of the summer laying intelligent groundwork, and when the larger forces begin moving in the fall, you'll be ready.

Saturn in Virgo won't reward half-cocked Uranian tantrums, but he will reward sustained effort toward freeing that one area of your life that has become such a prison. Whether it's a relationship issue, a financial or career issue, or some outworn attitude within your own psyche, a revolution is in order.

But make it a smart revolution.

("Revolution: Just Do It" photo posted by Steffen on Photokej. View it here.)

"My God, Don't You Ever Shut Up?"

One of my Gemini friends taught this phrase to me on the second day I knew him. He made me repeat it until I got the words and intonation just right, since he knew I'd be using it quite a bit.

I'm a quick study. The phrase has come in handy, and not just with him; in the past week alone I've used it at least ten times on various people, and thought it really hard a dozen more. I've even asked myself the question, and the answer is a decidedly smart-ass "Don't think so."

Jeez. When you're even bickering with yourself, you know something's up.

What's up is a stellium of planets in gabby Gemini, which includes a retrograde Mercury and some really annoying squares. This acute attack of verbal diarrhea isn't curing itself any time soon, not if the planets have anything to say about it.

Gemini isn't particularly argumentative on its own. Gemini isn't interested in competitive debate; it wants to talk, and arguments just get in the way of a good run-at-the-mouth gabfest. So why is everybody suddenly declaiming?

Blame Uranus in Pisces. Over the next three days, Uranus will be squared first by Venus and then by the Sun as they pass together through Gemini. Squares are irritating, and Uranus lacks diplomacy at the best of times; as I've been warning many of you for two months, people are apt to say anything.

That includes you. While I won't advise anyone to hide in the basement, I will advise a bit of caution. If you have friends, acquaintances, colleagues or lovers that you actually want to keep, it might be best to avoid any touchy subjects.

Bicker about the weather, dish some far-off celebrity, find some completely neutral subject you can argue about-- I don't know, just stay away from personal issues if you can. What starts out as a harmless poke could turn into an insult-fest of truly epic proportions. We all have it in us, and this kind of astrological weather takes the governor off the verbal inhibitions.

Here's an idea: make a secret list of people who have grievously annoyed you. Spend hours penning the most brilliantly entertaining letters of insult you can manage, one for each offender-- extra points for scope, style, wit, and subtlety. Revise, revise, revise! Once you've managed to create the perfect literary portrait of your subject in all his or her assanine glory, burn it.

No, really. Don't save it for posterity, because you'll end up putting a stamp on it later in July when Mercury finishes his square to Uranus, right about the time of the Mars/Uranus opposition. Yikes.

And meantime, remember the old adage: "If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me."

Heartbreak and Astrology

"Oh god, not again...."


Relationships can be hell, sometimes repeatedly so. Can astrology tell us anything about who we tend to attract and why? Check out Advanced Class in Heartbreak: Pluto and Uranus, a guest post I've written for Jeffrey Kishner's site Seduction Central.


While you're there, also check out Beth Turnage's article on the Bad Boy type, Bad Boys: The Uranus-Ruled Relationship. It's another look at those crazy relationships you just can't seem to resist.

In fact, take an hour or six to browse all of Seduction Central's great stuff on love, sex, and the stars...hey, it's better than crying into your beer.

Again.

Not Your Everyday Mercury Retrograde, Part Two

In the first half of this article, I explained my take on this summer’s Mercury retrograde period, and promised to take a closer look at the connections between Mercury and Uranus.

Sorry it’s taken a while to get around to part two, but I’ve been in the hospital having a few spare parts removed (thank god for gall bladder surgery, for pain meds, and for friends who are willing to smuggle in illicit substances like soda, cigs, and homemade Vietnamese food.)

We’re already well within orb of the Mercury/Uranus square, and although Mercury won’t slow down in the sky for another few days, certain effects are already in play. People are just saying stuff, stuff they wouldn’t ordinarily say. They’re asking bizarre questions and getting equally bizarre answers; informal polling (in other words, I asked around) hints at plenty of uncontrollable mental hamster-wheeling.

Of course, the approaching Full Moon in Scorpio has something to do with this, but for now we’re concentrating on Mercury and Uranus.

What does it mean to say that Uranus is a higher octave of Mercury?

As a planet and a symbol, Mercury represents raw energy expressed as motion between one point and another. Simple enough? This can be mental or cognitive motion (moving from one thought or idea to another inside your own head) or communicative motion (moving a thought or idea from inside your head to a point somewhere else, like a friend’s listening ear, a quick email, or a master’s thesis.) It can also be literal physical motion (moving a thing or a person from one point to another) so long as we’re focusing solely on the motion, the act of linear movement from point A to point B.

Hence, Mercury rules communications of all kinds, certain intellectual pathways in the mind, the bus ride to work, and UPS.

Uranus, on the other hand, represents raw energy expressed as unpredictable, nonlinear, inexplicable motion—as from point A directly to point E. While Mercury needs to traverse B, C, and D to get to E (almost instantly in some cases, city buses aside) Uranus ignores the traditional laws of cause and effect and just...appears. It acts without regard to the normal chain of causation.

Hence, Uranus rules unpredictable events, sudden changes, the bizarre reappearance of your high school sweetheart, and certain kinds of mad genius.

For the science and sci-fi buffs out there, it’s like the difference between Newtonian physics (Mercury) and quantum physics (Uranus.) The Heisenburg uncertainty principle and the resulting “quantum weirdness” perfectly describes the properties of Uranian energy flow. It’s mappable or measurable, but never both at the same time. A point can be both here and there, or neither here nor there, and can transmit information faster than the speed of light without mucking around with all those billions of light years in between. It makes no sense in terms of traditional logic.

Huh?

As a more practical example, if an idea for building a better mousetrap takes a Mercurial path, it will quickly explore all the logical pathways available, follow a few byways and dead-end alleys just to be sure, then emerge as a nicely rationalized set of blueprints. The mousetrap is very likely to be of sound design and function, though perhaps not terribly innovative.

If the mousetrap idea takes the Uranian path, a vision of the ultimate mice-catching device will just be there, inexplicably, with no real justification or proof or logical paper trail behind it. It’ll probably be a sketch, scratched on a coffee-stained napkin. It may not be practically possible to build the thing, and even if it were, it may not actually catch any mice. But we could discover later that, while useless as a mousetrap, it functions as a miraculous invention that keeps cheese from ever going moldy. Surprise!

The same thing happens with events, too. Happenings ruled by Mercury are ultimately predictable, if you can manage to follow their trails through the insubstantial, airy whirlpools of Mercurial logic. Happenings ruled by Uranus are never predictable, except possibly as statistics or estimates of likelihood. Even then, they’ll surprise you, especially with their ultimate outcomes.

I almost hate the term “higher octave,” to tell you the truth. It makes it sound as if Mercury is the lower function and Uranus the higher, which is blatantly silly. It’s almost like trying to qualitatively compare one shade of red to another shade of red. They’re both describing the same kind of process (movement of energy from one place/state to another) and are simply two sides of the same coin.

Mercury functions are one necessary element of our lives, and Uranian functions are another. Without Mercury, we’d never get anything done. Without Uranus, we’d never do anything new.

So, what happens now? These two halves of the coin are linked during this transit, and are linked in a slightly irritating way. Gemini Mercury’s logical, linear action will be suppressed through much of June due to its retrograde motion, and Uranus is sitting in Pisces, a sign which has little use for logic in the first place.

As far as sun signs go, Gemini, Virgo, Aries, and Pisces will likely be the most affected (read your individual May predictions for specifics.) I still hate to predict what these effects will be, because Uranus and Mercury work in very personalized ways, but they’ll be surprising, and they’ll be illogical.

Pisces should do okay with this, but it could drive Virgo up a tree, and Gemini too. Just relax, guys...it may not make sense, but it could be quite enlightening...inspiring, even.

Sagittarius and Aquarius will face surprises in terms of playmates and significant others. Aquarius is in a beautiful position to receive incredible flashes of insight; pay close attention to those inexplicable ideas that pop into your head. I doubt I need to tell you this, Waterbearer, but there’s no need to justify them to anyone else, not even yourself. Just write ‘em down (or sketch them on a napkin) and go with it.

Depending on where your natal Mercury is placed, you could have some interesting experiences regardless of your Sun sign. Gemini Mercuries are first in line, and will probably feel the most out-of-sorts. Aquarius Mercuries are in a similar position to Aquarius Sun signs; get ready for significant bolts out of the blue. Leo Mercury may find itself irritated, and Cancer Mercury may feel blindsided.

(Note: some astrologers say that if Mercury was retrograde in your natal chart, these transiting Mercury retrograde periods don’t affect you as much. I’m still on the fence.)

Otherwise, there are still some very supportive transits out there, and everything will eventually work itself out. All this strange motion will be past us by mid-July, which will be a real relief to many, and a bit disappointing to others.

I, for one, will hate to see it go. Then again, I’ve got medication, pho soup, and a doctor’s excuse.

Bring it on!

(For those of you who are post-surgical or just plain bored, and would like to read more about Newtonian vs. quantum physics, Tim Ferris’ The Whole Shebang is highly recommended.)

pictured at top: a gorgeous photograph of a vortex dipole by Dr. Yakov Afanassiev

Not Your Everyday Mercury Retrograde

Yes, it’s that time again, boys and grrls. Mercury is about to do its retrograde thing, just like it does two or three times every year. May 26 is the official start date, and the little bugger won’t go direct again until June 20.

(Insert usual warnings here: back up your hard drives now, don’t sign any contracts during the retrograde period, double-check your change at the video store, and all that jazz.)

Yeah, we’ve heard it all before, and sometimes we even make the effort to pay attention. Sometimes we get hit with a few communication snafus, and sometimes we get off scot-free. Sometimes we get smug about it and then Mercury hits us with a catastrophic blue-screen motherboard crash in the follow-up shadow period.

Along with representing everyday communications and information exchange, Mercury represents the Trickster archetype. If your mental picture of the Great Cosmic Joker in the Sky (or in the collective unconscious, if you will) includes nothing but bells, bad knock-knock jokes, and a few pies in the face, allow me to gently disillusion you.

He can be real bastard.

Mercury as Trickster has a job to do. He is not put here to make our lives easier, more pleasant, more thigh-slapping humorous—that would be Jerry Lewis. Mercury the Trickster’s job is to shatter our existing mental paradigms.

You know all those comfortable preconceived ideas you carry around, the ones that help you get through the day? Like “Stoplights turn green after being red for a given amount of time,” or “This contract I’m signing with the dog groomer can’t possibly do me any harm.” When Mercury the Trickster is involved, the stoplight might decide to skip green altogether, causing a nice four-car pileup. The Canine Unit could turn up and indict you on charges of contributing to an international smuggling operation involving a doggy deodorant banned in forty-nine countries as cruel and unusual.

Think of it this way: how funny is a Zen koan (“What’s the sound of one hand clapping?”) when it involves your real actual life? Contemplation is all very well, but in real life we tend to like our existing frameworks to stay put.

Mercury has many faces, and when he’s in retrograde, the Trickster is one of the most prominent. This time around, we could be in for more interesting twists than usual.

Foremost, the retrograde happens in Mercury’s home sign of Gemini. Nowhere is Mercury more mercurial than here. Furthermore, there’s a lingering square to Uranus that will, without a doubt, cause a twist or two.

Mercury squared to Uranus usually coincides with mental agitation-- not “good” agitation or “bad” agitation, just agitation in general. Look for a flurry of activity around the blogosphere and elsewhere beginning this week (the square actually moves into solid orb near the 14th.) Sometimes this agitation leads to spots of brilliance, while sometimes it just leads to sleepless nights and ridiculous arguments.

Avoid caffeine if you can bear it (I can’t, but good luck to you.) A few bouts of insomnia are damn-near inevitable.

Due to the retrograde, this square will last a lot longer than usual—all the way through July 5, which is the date of the exact aspect, with a brief grace period between June 12 and June 27.

You can get some sleep then. Meantime, try to make peace with the bags under your eyes.

Did you know that Uranus is considered to be the higher octave of Mercury? If Mercury the retrograde Trickster will be showing us his backside anyway, what in the world will happen when Shock-Of-Your-Life Uranus gets in on the action?

What’s going to jump out of the cosmic cake and yell “Surprise!” this time around?

In part two, I’ll offer up a surmise or three, plus gibber on a bit about how Mercury and Uranus are related. I’d do it now, but I’ll need something to keep me occupied while I’m busy not sleeping.

(Pictured above: "Invocation (Trickster Throws the Dice)" by Anna Conti, acrylic, http://www.bigcrow.com/ )

Neptune, Mercury, and Uranus: Satire, and Holocaust Remembrance Day

Earlier today, I shot off an email to a friend, blathering on about the trivia of my day, and casually asked how her day had gone. She emailed back quickly, and the gist: it was not a good day. It’s Holocaust Remembrance Day, and she’s Jewish.

Of course I felt horrible.

But my mind immediately jumped to the Seinfeld episode in which Jerry gets caught making out during Schindler’s List. It was one of my favorite episodes.

I felt doubly horrible, like I’d been chastised simply for thinking about Jerry making out during Schindler’s List.

Knowing that Chiron is only three degrees away from conjunction with Neptune, I wanted to take a quick informal dip into the collective mood-- as expressed through the blogosphere, anyway. It’s very much like you’d expect from Neptune and Chiron.

Chiron rules wounds that never heal, while Neptune rules unfocused emotional and mental states. They’re both in Aquarius, which the sign of group humanitarian causes.

I’m not at all surprised that the collective mood seems to be somewhat heightened this year. The sympathetic outrage is palpable. While the satirists are never far away, they seem to be a little muffled.

Compare that to the climate only ten years ago, when Larry David, Seinfeld’s writer and creator, was able to satirize certain facets of the Jewish experience and still maintain the most-watched show on television. (Here’s a great post I found on NextBook, a popular blog on Jewish culture.)

But there’s also a square from Mercury to said Aquarian Neptune. With this aspect, you can expect at least a few critical or satiric counterpoints to pop up.

Neptune, Uranus, and Mercury go hand-in-hand with satire and social critique. When the collective mood swings too far one way, there are always the Uranus/Mercury folks to offer a counterpoint, no matter how outrageous it seems to be.

Larry David himself has Mercury conjunct Uranus, and is one of our most brilliant social satirists (Larry David, July 2, 1947. Brooklyn, NY)

Uranus is contributing no aspects to today’s Neptune/Chiron/Mercury configuration, but the Aquarian influence on Neptune has a similar effect.

I'm ambivalent about my own reactions. I have the Mercury trine Uranus aspect in my natal chart, so I feel fairly congenial toward most satire. However, this time, I'm not sure what to think.

Neptune, maybe.